See if you can tell that AI wrote this and not the Beaveman
Shout out to all our listeners all over the world and a special shout out to the people of Cyprus for helping us stay on the charts there.
Ever wondered where the fine line between cultural appreciation and appropriation lies? Strap in with the Slaptail Squad, including the incomparable GeGe as we navigate the complexities of workplace diversity with our signature blend of humor and sharp insight. From the perils of learning Spanish to the pitfalls of diversity roles in organizations, we're slicing through superficiality with unapologetic honesty and a healthy dose of laughter.
Now, hold your nose because we're about to plunge into the deep end of personal hygiene and intimacy. Have you heard of "vabbing"? If not, prepare for an eye-opening (and possibly nose-closing) discourse complete with anecdotes that might just make you rethink your next date night. Toss in a side of dietary restriction banter and grooming roasts among friends, and you've got yourself a recipe for some seriously spicy conversation.
And just when you thought things couldn't get more provocative, we take a fearless foray into the world of adult entertainment. With musings on everything from the quality of certain genres to the complexities of voyeurism, we're laying bare our thoughts (and perhaps a little more) on the industry's inner workings. Plus, don't miss our musings on comedy show drama, mustache appreciation, and a quick promo of upcoming gigs that promise even more unscripted hilarity. Join us for an episode that's as boundary-pushing as it is belly-laugh inducing.
Slaptail Nation
https://solo.to/beaveman
https://crawlspacecomedy.com/event/slaptail-nation-presents-slap-your-tail-comedy-2/
https://crawlspacecomedy.com/event/slaptail-stand-up-comedy-show/
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/slaptail-nation-presents-slap-your-tail-comedy-tickets-874439992557
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/next-generation-improv-tickets-878691097727?aff=erelpanelorg
See if you can tell that AI wrote this and not the Beaveman
Shout out to all our listeners all over the world and a special shout out to the people of Cyprus for helping us stay on the charts there.
Ever wondered where the fine line between cultural appreciation and appropriation lies? Strap in with the Slaptail Squad, including the incomparable GeGe as we navigate the complexities of workplace diversity with our signature blend of humor and sharp insight. From the perils of learning Spanish to the pitfalls of diversity roles in organizations, we're slicing through superficiality with unapologetic honesty and a healthy dose of laughter.
Now, hold your nose because we're about to plunge into the deep end of personal hygiene and intimacy. Have you heard of "vabbing"? If not, prepare for an eye-opening (and possibly nose-closing) discourse complete with anecdotes that might just make you rethink your next date night. Toss in a side of dietary restriction banter and grooming roasts among friends, and you've got yourself a recipe for some seriously spicy conversation.
And just when you thought things couldn't get more provocative, we take a fearless foray into the world of adult entertainment. With musings on everything from the quality of certain genres to the complexities of voyeurism, we're laying bare our thoughts (and perhaps a little more) on the industry's inner workings. Plus, don't miss our musings on comedy show drama, mustache appreciation, and a quick promo of upcoming gigs that promise even more unscripted hilarity. Join us for an episode that's as boundary-pushing as it is belly-laugh inducing.
Slaptail Nation
https://solo.to/beaveman
https://crawlspacecomedy.com/event/slaptail-nation-presents-slap-your-tail-comedy-2/
https://crawlspacecomedy.com/event/slaptail-stand-up-comedy-show/
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/slaptail-nation-presents-slap-your-tail-comedy-tickets-874439992557
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/next-generation-improv-tickets-878691097727?aff=erelpanelorg
Slaptail Squad assemble.
Speaker 2:If you were listening to this, you remember the Great Slaptail Nation, my nation, and who am I? I'm the Beave man, master of the Universe, creator of All Things, Great and Small, and Lord, high Commander of the Great Slaptail Nation Army, and with me today, live in the Beaver Den, all the way from the French Quarter, is our good friend Gégé. Hello, gégé, welcome to the show, Bonjour. If you would just maybe learn how to shave your armpits and not smell so bad. That would be great.
Speaker 4:I will try my best.
Speaker 2:All right, Thank you very much. How are things Gégé? How have things been?
Speaker 4:Pretty steady I would say yeah.
Speaker 2:What does steady mean? I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means. I don't know.
Speaker 4:Just sort of copacetic, it's all Ah it's copacetic. It's another French word that I do not understand.
Speaker 2:I do not speak French, I do not know what copacetic means, but thank you very much. Also with us today. Live from the Uniden, where he's drafting his manifesto, is the Rons. Hey, hello.
Speaker 3:Rons hey.
Speaker 2:B-Man. How's it going, Rons?
Speaker 3:I'm currently stuck on page one of the manifesto. I don't know what to write.
Speaker 2:Usually people who write manifestos just write like thousands of pages, so you might want to get to it Thousands of pages of rambling thoughts about nothing in particular, just about how they are the greatest in the world. Okay, I can do that. Maybe manifestos aren't for you, so maybe manifestos aren't for you, then maybe that's the problem.
Speaker 3:Probably not.
Speaker 2:Alright and also with us today, coming to us live from Jackumstabum, home of Snap, crack and Pop. It's our good friends, our own portion of Puddin' Pop G-M-N-G. Good evening B-Man god damn, that's loud. Good evening, jumanji. Thank you for joining us. How are things?
Speaker 1:somebody just said good evening.
Speaker 2:In the background, who the fuck was that? Who's that?
Speaker 1:what is going on there? Why is your mic being weird? What did you?
Speaker 2:do? What did you touch? I thought it was the wrong noise, uh-oh. What is going on there?
Speaker 4:Why is your mic being weird?
Speaker 2:No, it's being weird. What'd you do? What'd you touch Nothing. Okay, all right, well was there somebody in the background that said good evening, who's there with you?
Speaker 1:Outside.
Speaker 2:Outside so they could hear you say good evening. That's crazy, maybe. All right J maybe Jumanji is a friendly person well, back to saying good evening Jumanji good evening, beautiful people yes, good evening, yes, good evening, good evening alright, that's racist. What's that?
Speaker 4:sure habibi, I have been learning the Spanish.
Speaker 2:I have been learning the Spanish very diligently and it is my goal by this time next year to be fluent nice yes, thank you very much.
Speaker 4:Thank you, I do try why don't you practice right now?
Speaker 2:let's see, let's see, yo quiero manzanas tenemos.
Speaker 1:Let's see, let's see, yo quiero manzanas Tenemos.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 2:Papas.
Speaker 4:Wow.
Speaker 2:Si.
Speaker 4:Have you gone to a restaurant to try to order food yet?
Speaker 2:I have ordered food in restaurants before. Okay, I actually understand a lot of Spanish. When people speak to me, I know what they're saying, it's just I can't respond back. Yeah, I'm like that with Arabic.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I can't respond back. Yeah, I'm like that with Arabic.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:I can respond to some things, but I understand it more than I can speak. What about French? French, I've only had a semester of it in college.
Speaker 2:Okay, well then, why are you Zizi?
Speaker 4:Because I like the Zizi.
Speaker 2:It's nice, I see, okay.
Speaker 3:That is what we call appropriation, people. No, it's my cultural appropriation. Is it really? Because?
Speaker 2:I you know what just recently I heard about that, what hold on what? What you just recently heard about cultural appropriation hold on.
Speaker 3:Let me finish the statement here. No, and someone came on and says it's not cultural appropriation, it's cultural appreciation. So when you want to learn about another culture and you want to adapt to it, you appreciate it Okay get that mic right by your mouth.
Speaker 2:Get that mic like a fist from your mouth.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:There you go. Dynamic mic. It's a learning curve. It's only been four years, except for you, gigi. It's only been four years for Jumanji and Ron's, who still don't know how to use microphones.
Speaker 4:That's okay. Jumanji and Ron's, who still don't know how to use microphones.
Speaker 2:That's okay. That's okay, jumanji, what's going on with you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, tell us about how you've culturally appreciated something Jumanji here in Ron's speak. It makes me think about places where they try to be inclusive. So then they have a diversity presentation, but it doesn't go anything past that presentation. There's no work done, but they take pride in being able to say, oh yeah, we are here for all.
Speaker 4:It's like when you have DEI training and then people are like yes, we're going to do this, and then they don't do anything.
Speaker 2:You know, what always makes me mad is and I've worked, I worked for an organization recently that did the same thing Like, oh, we're going to have this diversity group, diversity department and they hire somebody to be in charge of the diversity and I was like, a hundred percent, a hundred bucks, says this person's black. Yep, I'm like, so you, you can't, it can't ever be anybody else who's in charge of diversity. They always got to pick a black person to do it. I'm like so you're not really being diverse. You're just saying, hey, we're going to look cool by picking a black person to be in charge of this, but the number one minority is Hispanics. So I'm like, so I'm like I'm right over here. They're not any more qualified to learn lead diversity training than I am. They didn't have any certifications or anything at all. We had two diversity mandatory meetings. This was two years ago. Never heard about it again.
Speaker 1:Why is that?
Speaker 4:Because they just want to check the box that they well, a lot of companies are under scrutiny because of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or they'll you know, or they'll you know. That's, that's the big thing. Oh, we hire this many, uh diverse people and then they're like by the way, are you gay? Because if you are, that checks another box. You can't.
Speaker 1:We get two for one, by the way are you a gay, black, ex-military?
Speaker 2:We can check three boxes right there. Okay, great, and do your parents identify as Native American by any chance?
Speaker 4:What the fuck is wrong with you people.
Speaker 2:I mean, you don't have to answer these questions by the way. Okay, good, I won't Go. Fuck off Stupid.
Speaker 4:I've noticed now that when you apply for jobs, there's the disability question and asking if you have a disability, and there's this huge list of things that are considered disability list of things that are considered disability and they want to know if you have currently have a disability disability or have had one in the past. So that's a very strange question to me, because I thought you're not supposed to ask if someone has a disability because that's illegal, but then they're asking you this voluntarily.
Speaker 2:it doesn't make any sense well, they're asking voluntarily, because it's the same thing. If you hire people that are disabled, then that looks good also.
Speaker 3:Yes, how do you have a disability from the past?
Speaker 4:So let's say, you suffer from depression because you had depression years ago. That's a disability. That's in the list of disabilities, which is stupid because unless you.
Speaker 2:so there's a difference between depression, dysthymia anyway. So if you actually have a diagnosis of, for example, major depressive disorder, that's a lifelong diagnosis, right? So if you had a, if you had a diagnosis of, maybe a dysthymic disorder, or you had a depressive episode because of something that happened to you like bereavement, like somebody died and you were upset about it, and you don't actually have major depressive disorder, that's not a true diet, that's not a chronic diagnosis.
Speaker 4:True, so I guess it depends on your diagnoses.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but again, that's none of their business either. Yeah, that's why it's voluntary. But I always check that box for the disability part of it. I always check that. And then I check it, but then I'm always. And the reason why I check it is because someday I'm going to. There's going to be a point in my life where I'm like you know what, I'm not going to work as much as I work because I just literally can't do it anymore. So I'm just gonna be like, well, then I need accommodations. I'm not going to Because I really I mean, I already know that I shouldn't be working 40 hours a week anyway.
Speaker 4:No, no, no one should.
Speaker 3:No, how many hours should you be working?
Speaker 4:25.
Speaker 2:24.
Speaker 4:That should be the max.
Speaker 2:Yeah, people shouldn't work as much as we work in America. We're just working to die. That's all we're doing For a possible retirement and then just die.
Speaker 4:That's unfortunate.
Speaker 2:It is unfortunate.
Speaker 4:Well, this country doesn't respect people's you know, not that they don't respect. They just want people to work and work, and work, because they want us to be worker bees. Yeah, to make the rich rich right To make the rich rich and we're just suffering all the time trying to get to the next day, next day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and hopefully, hopefully, we, and then thankfully, if they're hot, I for one will welcome them.
Speaker 3:alien or robot overlords, well you know, with one big emp all the robot overlords will be dead, but the amish will take over. So it's amish or robot overlords why would the amish take over?
Speaker 4:there's not that many of them yeah, but they have better grip on what's how to survive.
Speaker 2:They have a better grip on incest. Is that what you're saying? Oh no, I'm not saying that, but I'm sure that's a thing. They have a better grip on diddling children.
Speaker 4:Oh. No, the priests have that part covered. Oh no, I've had friends who've been fucked by priests Dang.
Speaker 2:Hot take Gigi.
Speaker 4:Thanks, thanks, using my own words against me.
Speaker 2:It's your turn on the mixie, gigi, you had something that you were going to start doing. Is that correct?
Speaker 4:I'm not doing it. I've just heard about it recently. I have not.
Speaker 2:I think you have, I have not, I can tell.
Speaker 1:Alright have any of you heard of VABING V-A-B-B-I-N-G.
Speaker 3:VABING Ron, have you heard of it?
Speaker 1:No, Let me ask what do you think it is? You know, I'll throw myself on a limb.
Speaker 3:Here I'm going to say it's something to do with Kegel exercises, but it does have to do with the vaginal area, the vajayjay huh, I don't know how the vajayjay works. I set you up for that, by the way. I really did. I have no clue. The man knows what it is because we spoke about it.
Speaker 4:True, true that, by the way, I really did. I have no clue. He knows what it is because we spoke about it.
Speaker 2:True, true, true, true, true. All right, I will not say anything.
Speaker 4:Vabbing is when a person with a, you know, with a vagina, uterus, labia, whatever you want to call it.
Speaker 2:I think I have a uterus. It's a vulva. Why do they have to have a uterus?
Speaker 4:You, you don't have to have a uterus, you don't have to have a uterus With a vulva Takes your fingers and you take some of your secretions and you use it as your own sort of perfume.
Speaker 1:So you dab a little bit whatever on your pulse points New guy's in the corner puking his guts out, ah, ah.
Speaker 3:So, other than the what would seem to be a primordial uh attraction?
Speaker 4:Primordial. I think you meant pheromones. Is that what you're thinking of?
Speaker 2:Primal, no primordial, not primordial, but that's okay. Primal, well, no, primordial, okay you meant the ooze itself, the secret of the ooze, if you will.
Speaker 4:I was secret itself, the secret of the ooze, if you will. The secret of the ooze.
Speaker 3:That's what we're going to call my next perfume. So why are you doing this? Why are you?
Speaker 4:doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm asking if anyone has heard of it because I heard about it recently and I thought it was pretty hilarious.
Speaker 2:I mean, I know what would work better than that, but I don't have a problem with.
Speaker 4:No, jizz is not going to work, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:No, it's not it.
Speaker 4:I would say bathing, yes, but yeah, bathing. But here's the thing If you like a person's smell, that's just going to entice you even more, isn't it? I don't know, I haven't tried it.
Speaker 2:Well, not everybody's vajayjay smells the same.
Speaker 4:That's correct. Everybody has their own scent. Vajayjay smells the same. That's correct. Some of them are very intoxicating. Just like your nuts have their own smell Well.
Speaker 2:now it's tangerine.
Speaker 4:Yes, we learned that last week he has tangerine loomy all over his junk.
Speaker 2:Like an orchard down there, like an orchard.
Speaker 4:It's like Florida.
Speaker 2:Like a ball sack orchard.
Speaker 4:Oh God, that stuff smelled like shit, by the way, in the tube.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it smells better on my nuts.
Speaker 3:I guess you went a little too far on the nose.
Speaker 4:No, I did, though. I said that it did.
Speaker 2:It smells bad in the tube.
Speaker 4:It smelled like a little bit of tangerine and poop at the same time. For some reason it smells bad. I don't know how it shit fingers after they touched it. That might have been what you smelled, my shit fingers.
Speaker 2:I love it, my little shit fingers, little bloop. Anyway, jumanji, have you ever smelled a bad nether region? And what did you do? Yeah, did you throw up? Oh, I didn't throw up, I just did that gesture. And so then, what did you do? Just thwap it really, okay. Was it a guy or a gal? It was a gal, a gal, okay. So did you fist it after that, or what? Did you do I don't know for real.
Speaker 1:I'm not on the left and you said sorry, I can't stand your smell. I'm leaving interesting.
Speaker 2:You probably crushed that person. They probably haven't recovered wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 4:Were you trying to go down on this person and perform oral sex? Is that what happened? Okay, so you just said I'm done the smell.
Speaker 2:I'm done you could have just licked the smell off and then proceeded oh my god.
Speaker 4:I almost tripped on my mouth. Seriously, just get it out the way. At that point did you say no, proceeded. Oh my God, I almost tripped on my mouth.
Speaker 3:Seriously, just get it out the way you could have that point Did you say no, I'm going over to men. It's a lot cleaner.
Speaker 1:Not necessarily runs. No, that's how it was.
Speaker 2:That one experience made him gay.
Speaker 4:The scent didn't didn't agree with his nasal passages. Their pheromones were not attracted to you.
Speaker 2:It's very possible, though, that that person did not smell bad, just smelled bad to you, to you, correct? Thank you, gigi. Thank you for agreeing with me.
Speaker 4:What about you, Rons? Do you go down on Little Putter Donut?
Speaker 3:Of course I do.
Speaker 4:Oh good.
Speaker 2:Recently, well, not recently no I'm gonna sleep today.
Speaker 4:Well, she didn't mean like.
Speaker 3:It doesn't mean like right, I meant recently as in like in the last, he's like no, no, not last week, no, we've been just that'd be funny.
Speaker 4:He walks in and just wipe his face off.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I was busy. It's like I was with little powder donut. Now I'm a glazed donut.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you get that glow, that glow.
Speaker 4:Yeah, jumont, you like that one glazed donut. No, we're going to call it the that was good there you go, diesel glazed eclair.
Speaker 1:Oh, that was good. Beef man Eclair Now.
Speaker 2:I want sweet waters, I know that sounds delicious.
Speaker 4:Somebody go get me a sweet water donut please. Do they want to be our sponsor?
Speaker 2:Boston Cream, boston Cream, thank you.
Speaker 4:Boston Cream's your favorite.
Speaker 2:I love a good Boston Cream. They also make this one that's called New York Cheesecake. It's got pink frosting on it, so good. So, swan, please go.
Speaker 4:I can't eat it. It's so sick, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, because it's got gluten in it oh no, oh the gluten. I can't have the gluten. It'll make me shit. Oh guys, oh, just thinking about it right now is giving me abdominal cramping.
Speaker 3:Bingo. Forgive my memory lapse here. Gigi, you can't have gluten.
Speaker 4:No, I can't. Oh my God of course not.
Speaker 2:That's why we're making fun of her right now with gluten.
Speaker 4:Yes, I cannot have gluten. It makes me sick.
Speaker 3:Wow.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Gigi, yes so if I got you a gluten-free donut? How would that put me in your good graces? Just, made out of meat Maybe all right, I know what to do that's.
Speaker 2:That's what ron's named his asshole my asshole is named gluten-free donut free donut you're damn straight, it is no, thank you.
Speaker 4:Anyway, back to the whole smell thing. Tastes like shit, right?
Speaker 3:I mean, unless you wash it properly it won't.
Speaker 4:I do wash it properly, do you use?
Speaker 3:a bidet. I have used a bidet actually. Uh-huh, that's the weirdest feeling I ever fucking got.
Speaker 2:What are you talking about?
Speaker 3:like the back end of the bidet I won't say it wasn't good, it was just a weird feeling, so nice so good, I'm so nice so do you ever play with your like a detachment showerhead?
Speaker 4:you're talking about me or ron's?
Speaker 3:interesting. I do not have a Ron's. I know you probably do Nice.
Speaker 2:Nice. You know what? I don't think I appreciate. Gigi just said Jumanji was number one. I don't think that we appreciate Jumanji just jumping to conclusions and making assumptions about Gigi.
Speaker 4:That's right how dare you speak about my showerhead like that.
Speaker 1:Do you have you used?
Speaker 2:one for pleasure, for God's sake.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:What have you B-Man?
Speaker 2:Used one for pleasure.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:What am I going to do with it?
Speaker 4:In your butthole. Stick it in your butthole. You know it's an erogenous zone, yeah yeah, I understand erogenous.
Speaker 2:Yes, I understand the erogenous zone. I do understand that. Thank you, stop using these, sorry.
Speaker 1:Stop using these giant.
Speaker 2:French words.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry. I like Gigi's take on that where it's like it's going to make a sound if you're going to circular motion.
Speaker 4:It's like a wine glass when you take your finger and go around the ring of it.
Speaker 2:Man yours is that big, that ring that you're. Wow, that's pretty. Oh, speaking of buttholes, who, was making the motions now.
Speaker 1:She said it when she did this motion.
Speaker 2:I'm like, damn, you got a big asshole, that's a big ass I.
Speaker 4:But let me tell you what I saw today on tiktok, which was hilarious. Someone was making jewelry or had some like a little mold and it said oh, we got our mother daughter butthole impressions somebody this mother and daughter made impressions of their butthole with clay or something and sent it to this person to create some sort of charm out of it. It was gross, disgusting, absolutely really yeah I don't.
Speaker 4:I don't know what it was, but I watched it and some other person was commenting on and said wait, you have a mother daughter sharing their asshole impressions and sending them to this person to create what jewelry out of it? I don't understand.
Speaker 2:That's weird. I mean, if I, if I needed that done, I would just send them my underwear after I've done a loony stamp, my little loony stamp.
Speaker 4:Your loony stamp.
Speaker 2:My little loony stamp.
Speaker 4:Kissed your underwear. I could not stop laughing at that last week. By the way, my wee loony stamp oh, Kissed her underwear. I could not stop laughing at that last week.
Speaker 2:by the way my wee loomy stamp, oh God. Anyway, I would be okay with women using that, but I do feel like bacon is a better option. You dab a little bacon behind a little bacon grease behind your ears, yeah. A little hamburger grease, no bacon Bacon. Gigi Follow along.
Speaker 4:All right, bacon, bacon. I'll do. Bacon Shut up out of I'm going to shove it on my cleavage. Put a big slice of bacon down there.
Speaker 2:I love bacon.
Speaker 4:Ron's just getting excited. He's like did you have bacon?
Speaker 2:I love bacon so goddamn much.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, Bacon goes great with anything.
Speaker 2:You could wrap a donut with bacon. That'd be delicious.
Speaker 4:I'm sure people have done that.
Speaker 3:I feel like I should do that now I think Sweetwater's actually made a maple. No, actually they did, but I was at a they did a maple bacon one.
Speaker 4:I believe, yes, you're right.
Speaker 3:There was one at the farmer's market I went to. They called it Devil Dog. It had a maple bacon icing frosting on it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I want to. It was just One actual bacon on it.
Speaker 4:He just wants to slice a bacon in his mouth.
Speaker 2:I love bacon. Oh, so good, just thinking about it right now. Bacon, oh anyway, speaking of that whole gluten thing, yes, uh, you'll be happy to know that I, I did this set. Uh, gg was so mad at me the other day.
Speaker 4:I wasn't mad. It was not my fault, by the way, sure yeah, I'll wait.
Speaker 2:First of all, it was not my fault, let me. Let me explain what happened. Go ahead, it's all g all Gigi's fault, by the way. Okay, so I got asked to do this show slash mic, whatever and I was like, okay, yeah, cool, I'll do it. And it was at a smoke lounge and I sent it to Jumanji. Jumanji, did you watch it? Yes, and whenever he hesitates, I know he didn't.
Speaker 1:I have not watched it.
Speaker 2:He had me send it to him days ago I did. Days ago, I did. Oh damn, gigi I didn't even send it to you, did I? I will watch it.
Speaker 4:No, oh, I'll have to send it to you Because I wasn't there, because I couldn't get in.
Speaker 2:Well, it's recorded. I could send it to you, fine, it to you, fine. Anyway, now it makes no sense because Jumanji didn't watch it, even though he had me send it to him. Uh-oh, that's alright, you know who did watch it. You know who watched it. Swan Guess, who Take a guess, who always has my back?
Speaker 1:JD.
Speaker 2:Of course he did, because you know what you can always count on JD, you can count on you.
Speaker 3:Shout out to JD. Shout out to JD.
Speaker 1:Dark Lord of Browntown.
Speaker 2:Dark Lord of Browntown.
Speaker 1:Swan was there.
Speaker 2:Okay, anyway, so head to this show. It was at a smoke lounge, Not tobacco smoke, mind you.
Speaker 4:Mary Jane the.
Speaker 2:MJ. Yep, and so we're waiting there to go on and we show up, and Gigi shows up late, mind you.
Speaker 4:No, no, no, I was on time. It was 7.15. The show didn't start till 7.30. It was literally down the street from my house.
Speaker 2:So why were you so late then?
Speaker 4:I wasn't late. I didn't realize I had to get there super early. You told me to be there whenever, and so I got there at 7.15. I was in the middle of something at home. Got there and they're like no, but did you sign up and reserve a seat? What are you talking about? You're supposed to reserve a seat. I did not reserve a seat. Do you have any seats left? No, we don't have any for the 7.30 show and we don't have any for the 9 o'clock show.
Speaker 2:Okay, I guess I'm leaving is not what happened. You did not see me. Did you not see me talk to them and be like what the fuck is going on with that? I guess I did. I guess you were not paying attention, because I did say to them like what the fuck?
Speaker 3:are you talking about? You didn't drop the beatman's hand to get in, Anyway.
Speaker 2:I was like what are you talking about? What list?
Speaker 4:You didn't hear that whole to figure out why the hell I couldn't get in. It was annoying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's why I was like I'm like what are you talking about? I said shit right then, anyway, so Gigi could not get in, which was bullshit, it said on the banner. It said nothing about that on the banner. On the flyers.
Speaker 4:Why wouldn't they tell people that I have no idea?
Speaker 2:It's so dumb? It was dumb. Anyway, it was their first show, so I was like all right, well, I'll say something to them more later, which I did, so I did have to apologize to Gigi, who was very mad at me.
Speaker 4:I didn't realize you had stood up for me. Thank you, yeah, twice.
Speaker 2:Anyway, I didn't know she wasn't paying attention. Anyway, as I tried to tell G, tell gg, I cannot be a complete asshole because if I am, as a producer and as rep of slapdail nation, I have to look like I'm somebody that you should work with, like I shouldn't.
Speaker 2:I mean, I can't just chew people's asses I wasn't asking you to do that, I know I, I stood up, I did say stuff because I was not happy about it anyway, and there were seats in there, which afterwards, of course, afterwards the guy came, the same guy I talked to he comes, comes out and he's like hey, man, there are seats in there. I'm like you sent my fucking friend away and he's like I'm sorry.
Speaker 4:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:I'm like all right, so anyway.
Speaker 4:He should have just said stick around for a little bit, let's see if there are seats, and he's like nope, sorry bye, yeah, okay. Then he said buy any of your products after you just fucking just want me to leave. No, never.
Speaker 2:Anyway. So I really wish you would have watched my set Jumanji, because I did a whole little gluten thing on my set, so I will have to have Gigi watch it and I'll send you a link to Ron's if you want to watch it.
Speaker 3:Well, can we hear part of it for the podcast? I don't remember it.
Speaker 2:Oh, a lot of times the sets I don't. I've written so much stuff that a lot of times if it's an open mic I don't pay.
Speaker 2:I just go up there and I do jokes yeah, whatever pops in your head if it's a show like, if it's a show that we produce and that we that I'm actually in, by the way, I've never been in a show that I haven't produced. Just so everybody knows, if you ever want to be a comedian on a show or a comic on a show or somebody who tells jokes on a show and nobody's you know and you can't get on a show because nobody's asking you to be on a show, produce your own goddamn show.
Speaker 3:That's what I do, smart, best way for me to get on a show a lot of people have done that in hollywood or, uh, in the entertainment business. It's like they want to do something. They just go out and produce it themselves and start it.
Speaker 2:It's actually some of the advice that a lot of performers will say that are in the comedy industry. They're like, oh, you can't get on it, Make one produce your own, do it Just go be on your show.
Speaker 3:Just like your own, uh, vaping.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 4:It's your own with your juice, that'd be, interesting, yeah, to see how it reacts on your skin jumanji glaze your own face glaze, no yeah glaze your own face and
Speaker 2:power donuts, kind of small. You could probably just pick her up and rub her all over your face.
Speaker 4:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Snail trail it just all over.
Speaker 4:Way to go. That's awesome. There was a person I saw perform on Saturday night. He had the thickest mustache I've ever seen. It looked like Ned Flanders. He looked like Ned Flanders but he played amazing fiddle. And I leaned over to my friend and I said I want to glaze that mustache it was awesome, nice did you say show it?
Speaker 3:is that a turn on for you? A thick, bushy mustache?
Speaker 4:I love facial hair. I love mustache beers. I don't thank you for I didn't say that, but but that's for Little Powder Donut. That is not my thing, so I do love, not hers either. I do love yeah, hey-o, hey-o, hey-o.
Speaker 3:There we go.
Speaker 4:He had great facial hair and mustaches do not work on every person, just like no one should ever have a goatee and I know a lot of people love goatees and I'm sure we're gonna get shit because I said this but the goatee needs to go, although t for years?
Speaker 2:oh god it's. It just looks like you're putting a target on your mouth.
Speaker 4:I look like a pirate guy by god. No beard. I think I want either beard, mustache or nothing that's. But that's my preference, not other people's.
Speaker 3:So so have you seen ron swanson's mustache, that type of mustache yeah, that's one of my favorites.
Speaker 4:I love him. Nick offerman is one of my favorites. He's amazing anyway.
Speaker 2:So so we're saying the, the, the vapping is out, or?
Speaker 4:vabbing. Vabbing is out.
Speaker 2:Yes, we're saying I don't know if it's out or in, or whatever it is you want to do couldn't you do the same thing as a dude, just like rub the intertrigenous area and stick that behind your ears?
Speaker 4:I suppose you could. Why not? I mean, I can. Oh God, I shouldn't say this out loud, I won't get it.
Speaker 2:Why not?
Speaker 4:Because sometimes I can tell when people have scratched their balls and I can smell it on them. She's like a bloodhound with dick I am. I have a strong sense of smell. It's like a scratch and sniff for you isn't it, yes, exactly. Oh Jesus, it's bad. I'm like Jumanji. I remember years ago I was with this person and I was about to perform the oral and went down and it was the most horrific smell that went into my nostrils. Maybe it was just your breath wafting back at you.
Speaker 4:No, it was not my breath. Had I put my mouth on his dick, it would have been my breath, but it wasn't.
Speaker 2:Just lick the smell off and go to it.
Speaker 4:Stop it no.
Speaker 2:Shammy it.
Speaker 4:Just stick my boobs on him and be like let me clean it off first.
Speaker 2:That's what you could do. You could loomy your boobs and just stick it on there.
Speaker 4:And then make them smell better. Be like come here, try this out, let me do a little titty fucking and put loomy there, and then it'll just cover it all up. That's a good idea.
Speaker 2:You would have to have a giant cock to titty fuck Gigi, I mean I've, gg, I mean I've. There's lots of sizes that have been between them.
Speaker 4:I wouldn't even if I started from the bottom, mine would not even come out the top. Wait, I can it would get lost somewhere in there it wouldn't even have to.
Speaker 2:It'd be like very little motion, like just geez it'd still feel good panic because I'm like where'd it go?
Speaker 4:where is? Where is it and you're like, let me find it?
Speaker 2:Give it back, Give it back. I start hitting the remote on my dick to find it. I'm like click, click, click.
Speaker 4:Click, click, click. Oh there it is Now. You see it, now you don't. Now you see it Now you don't. Terrible, terrible it's.
Speaker 1:I feel like this is one of those moments when you just say whatever you're thinking, Jumanji how far could your dick go into Gigi's boobs?
Speaker 2:How far would yours make it? Would you be able to see the end of your penis?
Speaker 4:I have a big cleavage, sorry.
Speaker 2:It's like a couple of Rottweilers under a blanket.
Speaker 3:Are we talking the?
Speaker 2:grand annual cleavage. Anyway ahead. Do you mind what you say?
Speaker 1:so I will at least peek to the other side, oh okay, so we could see your eye I'm just like hello and give it a little lick.
Speaker 2:Hey, everyone has wrong yeah, I was about to. If you want to go ahead, where's? Where are you going to ask, ron? Yeah?
Speaker 4:I was about to. Where are you going to go? I was trying to avoid that question.
Speaker 3:I was like, okay, I'll just keep quiet and see where it goes. Yeah, you had to call me out on that one geographically.
Speaker 2:Where would your wrangler end up in the canyon?
Speaker 3:oh, probably not even reaching the entrance can't even breach the entrance.
Speaker 4:He has a micropenis. Is that why can't even breach the entrance? He has a micropenis. Is that why Dang?
Speaker 2:Can't even breach the entrance. That's terrible.
Speaker 4:Do you just have a really big clit, rons, there?
Speaker 3:you go. Well, you know, every man has this ego problem. Sometimes he's like, well, I would poke her in the throat and she would choke, oh God.
Speaker 4:That's not something we like. I'm just going to tell people that Some that's not something we like.
Speaker 3:I'm just going to tell people that Maybe some people that right now it's not a thing.
Speaker 4:I know people, whatever. What's not a thing you know trying to choke on my dick, bitch. You're like no, how about you choke?
Speaker 3:on my fist. I meant to say poke, but choke, yeah, I guess would be the thing.
Speaker 4:Like I get if people guys feel really proud about their dick because they're like look, I went down her throne, made her choke. Yeah, you know what that makes me want to vomit, thank you very much. Now you're hitting my reflexes and if I'm not in control of it and you're trying to shove your dick into my mouth, that's gonna make me throw up. But if you, let me do it, I will show you what I can do with it, and it's going to be way better than you grabbing my head and trying to shove it down in there.
Speaker 2:Come on, yeah and then you just toss a big bowl of stomach soup on their dick.
Speaker 4:I mean, it's happened before to me, one time where I threw up a little bit and I was like, sorry dude, you didn't listen. I told you to stop Fascinating. Yeah, it's fascinating.
Speaker 1:Wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 3:It's all about the breathing.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you have to breathe properly and you can control your gag reflex.
Speaker 1:You have to allow a person to do that, and if you don't, Jumanji do you enjoy going down and putting beautiful cocks in your mouth? So it's not my favorite thing to do. Interesting, however, I don't mind doing it. Okay, but, like you said, I know that I can do it well, but you have to allow me to do it, that forcing stuff.
Speaker 4:It's wrong.
Speaker 1:It's wrong and it's not arousing on our side.
Speaker 4:Well, I think the problem is and I've said this before that because of free porn, so many young people have watched videos, thinking this is how you're supposed to do it, and don't really ask questions to their partners, so they assume this is what I should be doing. I should be grabbing her hand and I should be rubbing really hard on the clit and I should be like smacking tits around.
Speaker 2:Ron's how do you suck a cock?
Speaker 4:I was just going to ask that of you, B-Man Too late.
Speaker 2:I got you first. I don't, I got you first. I don't, I got you first. You don't Okay.
Speaker 4:Have you ever? No, have you ever thought about it? No, really, really, everybody's thought about it. Everybody's thought about it, come on.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of human brain thoughts that you can't stop If you're saying you haven't self.
Speaker 4:That's true. I think every person has thought about what it is.
Speaker 2:Literally, we just said it. There's no way you can stop your brain from immediately thinking about it.
Speaker 4:How about have you thought about sucking your own cock?
Speaker 3:That is interesting, because then that would eliminate the need for women and I could satisfy myself and I would be the best lover there is.
Speaker 4:How do you know? Why would?
Speaker 3:you do that Because I would take myself out to a nice restaurant and then you know, I I would have to put out if you wanted anything.
Speaker 2:How that works is that is that what it works. If you take somebody to a nice restaurant, they have to put out runs.
Speaker 3:That was you're saying well for me, I, I would put my, you know, I would put out for myself that was a very good answer, considering what he asked you.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I was waiting for something to come out of your mouth fell into the drastic trap, didn't he?
Speaker 2:he did also known as gg's punani oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh.
Speaker 4:I love it.
Speaker 2:I am so hungry for donuts right now.
Speaker 4:Oh my gosh, it's not great, it's not? No, you don't want a donut?
Speaker 2:Oh, I really do want a donut. Ladies donuts no. I really want the New York cheesecake.
Speaker 1:Jumanji do you like donuts? I don't really enjoy donuts.
Speaker 2:What the fuck is wrong with you. I don't really eat donuts. You don't enjoy sucking dick and you don't like donuts. What the fuck is wrong with you.
Speaker 1:I just said I didn't enjoy it. I just said it's not my number one.
Speaker 4:What's your number one? How many numbers are there?
Speaker 2:Jesus, Jesus.
Speaker 4:I can only think of two, I can only think of two Jumanji.
Speaker 2:Then you are not a good lover.
Speaker 4:Seriously, what do you mean? It's not just what.
Speaker 1:What two Either.
Speaker 2:It's not just what. What to? Either I'm jamming it somewhere, well that's it, either I'm jamming it somewhere, or that's it. That's it what about your mouth. It's still jamming it somewhere.
Speaker 4:There's no jamming okay. This is not a toast and jam no jamming.
Speaker 1:No jamming Walak no jam.
Speaker 4:I love that character so much. I love when you do that Beefman, I do Anakin your mom, she like it when I jam.
Speaker 3:There we go.
Speaker 4:That's awesome. Hey, Anakin, you want me to jam your mother?
Speaker 2:Oh, she like it. She likes it very much. She like it. There is so much sand. She gets the sand and hovers JJ, she like it.
Speaker 4:There is so much sand we're all in our crevices.
Speaker 3:You know there are a lot of Star Wars fans coming out there. He did not just do that he don't like.
Speaker 4:Watto.
Speaker 2:Nobody likes Watto.
Speaker 4:He's an asshole in the movie. Have you watched the movie's runs?
Speaker 2:You believe in slavery? I have Nobody's going to come to Watto's freaking defense. Oh, that beef man really disparaged Watto.
Speaker 4:He's the one character I want to give a shit about.
Speaker 2:He's just a misunderstood slave owner.
Speaker 4:He's my dad as an alien.
Speaker 3:I don't think anybody's going to go to Dr Pink's funeral either.
Speaker 4:Well, he's not a slaver, Anyway back to what we were talking about. Jumanji, hold on. I want to go back to this because, b-man, you said that there's only two things you're doing. Are you saying you don't do anything with your mouth?
Speaker 2:I consider that as part of all of it. Okay, that's what I'm saying I either use my mouth or I use my digits what? Or your dick well, that's a digit oh, okay, that's considering your other digit.
Speaker 4:I got got you your fat digit.
Speaker 2:My wee fella.
Speaker 4:The unencumbered digit.
Speaker 2:The learned Professor Throbinson.
Speaker 4:Oh, Jumanji's going to say something. What?
Speaker 1:But do you only use your mouth in the same space that you use your dick, or are there other places that you use either of those things outside of that one area?
Speaker 4:No, I use my mouth in a lot of areas. Oh, where Tell?
Speaker 3:us. I love Jumanji. How he uses the force there. I watched your hand. You're like, do you?
Speaker 1:I was using my life's favor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not going to disparage Swan because she's not here to defend herself. But Swan does not use her mouth anywhere, except for maybe one area.
Speaker 4:That's it.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 4:Just on your lips, not even that what you're just saying? She doesn't kiss you? No, not really. Does she lick you?
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Speaker 4:Oh, okay, and your nipples no that's what I said.
Speaker 2:Only one area. So she doesn't like kiss my neck, doesn't kiss my chest doesn't kiss me anywhere other than on my lips. But that's it, not your dick. Well, no, she does that too.
Speaker 2:But I mean just saying in general like you know how, if you took her out for a donut, you might be more probably not I've tried that lots of times, like you know how, maybe if you took her out for a donut you might get more. Probably not. I've tried that lots of times. Anyway, not going to disparage this one, just saying Jumanji what?
Speaker 1:do you?
Speaker 4:like doing then sexually, what's your favorite?
Speaker 1:I'm curious to hear what you all say is my number one.
Speaker 4:Your number one is fucking someone in the asshole. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1:What do you say? Have you met Yep Same?
Speaker 4:No, I think it's actually kissing. I think it's you like to jam it somewhere.
Speaker 2:Shampoo bottles Doesn't matter. He was jamming.
Speaker 4:Jam on it, a jam on it.
Speaker 1:Croak of a tree. What do you say?
Speaker 3:Ron tree. What do you say, ron? I would say you're more of a sensual lover. You like to give a back, rub, candles, stuff like that. You know from all our conversations, when we've you've talked about your other partners, it's like the bougie bitch and it's like okay, you like the finer things in life, so you like, you like a romantic setup, then you like to go for it. Am I correct?
Speaker 1:So Ron is very close. I do enjoy very intimate experiences.
Speaker 4:Lame, no, I'm just kidding. Do you want to do that with me, However?
Speaker 1:if you're not into being rim that knocks you down, Mm-hmm I like that.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. This may fix the rims on my car. They're a little. They're a little scratched up. They're low profile tires. You get too close to the curb, especially when you're parallel park. Sometimes you get scratched up a little bit is that what you mean? Do you know how to fix rims? Is that I may not be presumptuous because you're black, but it was just a question. People ask me those questions because I'm Latino. That's pretty good, you made him laugh so hard.
Speaker 4:I have not seen him do this yet.
Speaker 2:Oh no, he'll do it.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, he'll do it, we actually have sound clips of Jumanji laughingumanji, you're the best oh, b-man, the things you say sometimes are you embarrassed Jumanji?
Speaker 2:are you saying you can't?
Speaker 4:are you embarrassed?
Speaker 1:no, b-man's response to things is just like are you saying you cannot refurbish my rims?
Speaker 2:is that what you're saying? That's sad. Find someone who can do it. Are you saying you cannot refurbish my rims? Is that what you're saying? That's sad.
Speaker 3:I'll find someone who can do it there is a sound bite, I think somewhere, of him just laughing. I think the B-band's got it somewhere.
Speaker 2:I literally just said that less than 30 seconds ago.
Speaker 3:Sorry, it didn't come through my head, Okay okay.
Speaker 1:It wasn't a senior moment for Ron's at all, but if you never had that done, it's the best thing ever.
Speaker 4:It is really nice when it's done well.
Speaker 2:Yes, well, that's what I said Low profile tires A lot of times when you parallel park, a lot of times you think you're like far away from the curb, but you're not, and then you just kind of jack up your rims a little bit and then you got to get ref refurbished.
Speaker 4:Also using fingers is good.
Speaker 3:Sorry about that. You got that shine going to them. Is it counterclockwise or clockwise Jumanji?
Speaker 4:It doesn't matter. Honey. Rons, are you saying you've never rimmed anyone?
Speaker 1:I've never done that to the body.
Speaker 4:Have you ever done that to Little Power Donut?
Speaker 3:Oh, hundreds of times.
Speaker 4:You've rim rimmed anyone to the body? Oh, have you ever done that, the little power donut? Oh, hundreds of times.
Speaker 3:You've rimmed her. If I say no, it's going to go one way. If I say yes, it's going to go.
Speaker 4:I want honesty. Motherfucker, which one is it?
Speaker 3:Oh, with my finger yeah.
Speaker 4:With your finger, but not your mouth. No, okay, are you interested in?
Speaker 3:trying that with her. Are you holding the camera?
Speaker 4:Sure, I'll hold the camera. Smart ass, you think I wouldn't Call my bluff bitch New guy's in the corner puking his guts out Rawr. Rawr, I'll have covers over my eyes, but I'll hold the camera. B-man doesn't know what to say.
Speaker 3:he's not sure how to respond to that as long as you get, you know, like directing credits yes, I'll be like, get in there closer. Yeah, baby, lick it, stick your finger after all, you know if you want to be part of the entertainment well, I'm going to have to move on produce your own stuff.
Speaker 4:B-Man can't handle this. We're done, all done let's move on. Let's move on speaking of hummus oh no, don't talk about that again what was that?
Speaker 3:by the way, I got that and I'm like. Your dad dips his hummus in coffee or something like that did you watch the video? I didn't see the video, I just saw that. What are you asking? Why would you?
Speaker 2:ask about context or something if you didn't watch the video? If you didn't watch the video, then you wouldn't have to ask the question. You're asking us to explain a video clip to you that you couldn't watch for two minutes.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, I am Well too bad.
Speaker 2:Watch the clip Moving on. Okay, Moving on. Anyway, all right, so Vabbing is a go Donuts are awesome Maybe. We love bacon. What did you just say?
Speaker 3:Hummus maybe.
Speaker 4:Maybe what oh?
Speaker 3:What? So? I've got a question on hummus, though I really do. Do you make your own hummus?
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 3:Why? What do you add to it?
Speaker 4:Okay, it's very simple. It's not many ingredients Pardon me, it is chickpeas, or you can call them garbanzo beans lemon juice, salt, tahini, olive oil, and those are the basic ingredients. You can add other stuff, but I I'm a purist. We're not putting spinach olive oil.
Speaker 3:oh yeah, that's funny no, I make my own. Uh, I've made my own hummus before too.
Speaker 4:Let's see what your take was on it. Then what did you put in yours? Baked beans Right.
Speaker 2:Lemon juice.
Speaker 4:Baked beans.
Speaker 2:Crisco and Frank's Red Hot.
Speaker 4:Sometimes people will add a little bit of parsley and or paprika or different spices, Like you can make it spicy.
Speaker 3:I add red pepper to mine, red bell pepper.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, red bell pepper. Okay, so you're trying to make it a red bell pepper hummus, which I don't do. That.
Speaker 3:Yeah, kind of a sweet.
Speaker 4:No.
Speaker 2:I don't see the point of making hummus when I can get delicious hummus very inexpensively From Shawarma King Anywhere. Hummus is pretty inexpensive, thankfully.
Speaker 1:But is it something that's often processed?
Speaker 2:I mean, there's a really good hummus. This is a ridiculous conversation. Meijer sells a really good brand of hummus.
Speaker 4:It better not be what I think it is. You better not.
Speaker 1:I wonder which one, because my hummus is from Meijer.
Speaker 4:It better not be Sabra.
Speaker 2:I don't know what Sabra is.
Speaker 4:It's a brand. Don't buy that one.
Speaker 2:Why. Because, Because their garbanzo beans are not naturally sourced.
Speaker 4:No, it's made by the Israelis, not Arabs.
Speaker 2:I see. So now we're saying that we can't buy things from Israelis.
Speaker 4:No, not all Israelis are bad. No, I'm not saying all Israelis are bad. That is not what I said. I feel like that's what you just said.
Speaker 2:No, she just said all Russians are bad too. No, I didn't say that. Well they are. Fuck you Russia.
Speaker 4:Oh my gosh, such a weirdo no, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2:Not all Russians are bad, just the bad ones. There's some pretty hot chicks over in Russia now you're getting Ron's excited, they produce some decent porn also.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, that's hot. Jumanji has a question. What is it?
Speaker 1:no, I don't have a question you had a comment. I can see something's about to come out of your mouth it was taking the conversation in a way that we're not going, so I'm liking where we're at right now.
Speaker 2:Definitely they produce some decent glory hole porn.
Speaker 4:Really. Oh yeah, I've seen some of that. That's kind of interesting. I have some friends that are swingers that like to go to places where they have glory.
Speaker 2:Where.
Speaker 4:I'll tell you off camera.
Speaker 2:Tell me off. That's not nice.
Speaker 4:Fuck off bitch. No, I will tell you later. Fascinating yes.
Speaker 1:So since you brought it up, man, I'm curious. Porn show up in any of your 24-hour internet web or browser history.
Speaker 2:No, mine's all I do with the incognito searches.
Speaker 4:It still shows up.
Speaker 2:Only if you're some sort of wizard.
Speaker 4:Incognito is not necessarily private like that. I only try to find mine.
Speaker 1:So Beacon is a yes.
Speaker 2:I think everybody knows that I enjoy porn. I've said many times that I wish I could be a porn director. I would be an awesome writer also.
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 2:Especially because I'm very big into cosplay and a lot of the cosplay stuff is not done very well or they'll do it with like oh, she sort of looks like Wonder Woman. No, she doesn't. And I'm like no casting needs to be much better. I'm like directing needs to be better. I would win so many. What are they? Woody Awards? I don't know what they are. I don't know, oh yeah, there is an award for porn stars. Yeah, it's a big industry. I would like to go on one of the cruises.
Speaker 2:You know and they have. What is it like? A week-long convention in Vegas?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think that would be an excellent writer. What would you cast Gigi in?
Speaker 4:I wouldn't, Because he's never seen me have sex and he doesn't know how good I am. That's why.
Speaker 2:Apparently, Ron wants to see you.
Speaker 4:He's already said he has.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I do I mean I'd like to support an actress?
Speaker 2:So okay, let's unpack this just a little bit.
Speaker 4:Oh, my God just a little bit.
Speaker 2:If, if, if little Potter Donna was to listen to this right now, how would she feel about you saying that you would like to watch Gigi have sex?
Speaker 3:Why would she be fazed by it?
Speaker 2:I'm just asking you a question what is your response to her to use if she was to hear that?
Speaker 3:I don't think she would be fazed.
Speaker 2:She doesn't care right okay, all right, so next time I'm at the dojo I will ask her you can ask her.
Speaker 3:Well, you know, that's one of those things where we don't bring that subject up there, if we go ahead.
Speaker 2:He wants to. He wants to watch gg have sex. Is that cool, cool. You know this person that he's actually met and has actually had conversations with. Are you cool with him watching her have sex? By the way?
Speaker 3:That place is like the Highlanders in the movie the Highlander, that's like you know. They don't fight on holy ground, they don't go to the church and fight. That's one of the places where we do that.
Speaker 2:I have no idea. I do not follow any of that train of thought he's saying they don't talk about that at jujitsu he doesn't do jujitsu whatever he does, we do talk about that at jujitsu.
Speaker 4:Thank you, there you go yeah anyway.
Speaker 2:So just to keep it, just so you know so little powder don't when you hear this episode later. I was not supportive of Ron's.
Speaker 4:I love how you tried to save yourself. I hate this decision.
Speaker 2:I am on your side, Little Powder Donut.
Speaker 4:There, you go.
Speaker 2:Ron's is a pervert and I feel like he should be castrated.
Speaker 4:What if Jumanji and I had sex? Would you watch that? Ron's?
Speaker 3:Sure, why not? You know, I want to support Jumanji.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you want to support his balls and his dick in your mouth.
Speaker 4:Hi-yo, hi-yo, hi-yo, hi-yo.
Speaker 2:Hi-yo Also as a side note Gay Head is what Rons from the Slaptail podcast wants Tremonde to give him.
Speaker 3:There we go, there we go. Plenty of the sun bites.
Speaker 1:Nice.
Speaker 2:Any other embarrassing questions you would like to ask?
Speaker 4:I want to ask Jumanji a question what kind of porn do you like?
Speaker 1:I honestly enjoy a lot of different.
Speaker 4:In a second yes, you can go ahead.
Speaker 2:No, if he tells us, then what would be the point of me guessing? Oh, you want to guess what he okay okay, he likes really, really homely waifu white girls getting pounded by guys with tiny asian penises. It's a very niche market, oh my it's a nymph market. Is that right Jumanji.
Speaker 1:Not at all.
Speaker 2:Oh well, I tried.
Speaker 1:Because usually those are the ones who are like oh, oh, give me that cock.
Speaker 2:To Asian dudes.
Speaker 4:No, they always sound so fake when they do that too. I hate that.
Speaker 1:Because they're acting Right. That's what I don't want so why don't you so?
Speaker 2:okay, are you aware of make love, not porn, that site no no, oh, they're actually asking for investors now.
Speaker 2:I was actually thinking about investing, oh, uh. So make love, not porn, is a site that's been around for, I think, probably like five years or more now. Add that to my phone. So the lady who runs it super cool lady. She's like almost like a Dr Ruth Westheimer type. Super cool lady. So what it is is it's people submit videos to MLNP and they publish it there. They want you to submit videos where you're making love with your partner, whether it's a that person you're with, or a threesome or whatever but it's not porn. And so, and so if you buy video, you buy credits from them and you can watch videos and it supports the people who made them. You know it's a little side gig, uh, and of course, uh, it's, it's pretty good, I mean, but good, I mean. But that's the thing is, it's not. It's not porn. So you're not going to get all these crazy angles. You're not going to get crazy angles and you're not going to get close-ups and stuff, because a lot of his people are just look at his face.
Speaker 2:He's like he likes the site it's homemade porn, but it's not right, it's amateur it is to say homemade videos, I should say not porn. Got it make love, not porn did you add to it already?
Speaker 4:b-man? Did you create a video and put it in there?
Speaker 2:Did I? No, I tried to get Swan to do it. She's like hell. No, All right, never mind then.
Speaker 4:Oh, that'd be fun. I'd watch you too.
Speaker 3:Thank you See she's willing to support you.
Speaker 2:I doth appreciate that. I'll hold the camera. I mean, you can just use a being a connoisseur of the porn itself.
Speaker 3:I'm always like damn it, I want a better angle.
Speaker 2:You know, you know, I watched one one time. It's pretty funny because they put the descriptions in and they're like me and my you know, my significant other were enjoying each other, but then they'd like run in a cabin, but then there was a knock at the door.
Speaker 4:It was the caretakers. We had to be really quiet. That happened one time to me, where a cop showed up at a door when I was having sex.
Speaker 2:Your back door.
Speaker 1:That's the shit I'm talking about.
Speaker 4:No, but I would have asked the cop to, but it was very weird she opened her door. I welcome you Come in Join the party.
Speaker 2:There's a bunch of people in there already.
Speaker 3:Is that a nightstick? Are you happy to see me?
Speaker 2:Ooh, wah, wah yeah.
Speaker 4:Jumanji has the nightstick baby. There we go.
Speaker 2:This is more like a black mamba. Oh, have you seen him naked?
Speaker 4:I have. I have seen jumanji's junk.
Speaker 2:Oh, very nice not in any like uh personal context, if you will not in a excited state, but in a sort of casual I think that he probably was excited, but I was not he was excited, but you were not.
Speaker 4:What. What's happening? I don't think I've gotten it.
Speaker 1:I've came to you some very vulnerable happy baby smacked it.
Speaker 4:I was like, no, did you need him to look at it? Down boy, was it a medical issue?
Speaker 2:Oh, my gosh. Oh, who's getting texted over there? Oh, look at me, I'm so important.
Speaker 4:It was just drama from earlier and it's resolving finally. God damn it. Sometimes people drive me up a fucking wall. Anyway, Jumanji was defending his actions of popping a woody when I was. Did you pop a woody when he touched your?
Speaker 1:junk. I don't think I have. Okay, I don't think I have.
Speaker 4:I don't think I have, but I may have.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty certain, because in those moments I was like hey, I know I was like. I don't think something's right. How is?
Speaker 2:that in my face I'm standing and he's sitting.
Speaker 4:Wave it away. It's awesome.
Speaker 1:That was his natural state. Of course he had to slip.
Speaker 4:Duck and cover.
Speaker 2:Can you control that thing? What can I say?
Speaker 4:That's hilarious, mr.
Speaker 3:Helicopter right.
Speaker 4:What, what. What's a helicopter? What do you mean, mr ron's?
Speaker 1:what are you talking about? I mean, what do you mean? I'll put a video on your group, okay oh, there you go are you saying you?
Speaker 3:know when I said that you are.
Speaker 4:Yeah, there you go like whipping it around, gotcha, okay, okay anyway, all right.
Speaker 2:Well, now that we've moved on from jumanji's junk, what was the question? What questions you have, juji gg? Oh me, yeah. What were you asking? I was asking him what kind of porn he liked.
Speaker 4:And then, yes, and I was guessing, and I was wrong, okay, well.
Speaker 2:So what is the porn that you like? Jumanji, now that you guys are all going to subscribe? To make love, not porn. Big shout out to make love, not porn. Make love, not porn baby you guys are awesome. You're doing you're's work.
Speaker 3:There you go.
Speaker 2:God of fucking I guess yes, goddess's work.
Speaker 1:It honestly depends on the night. Sometimes I want amateur, sometimes I want something a little more professional, sometimes I want something with a specific porn star, or I want a certain setting in a locker room or to take place in a certain space. So then I just search for what I need in that moment.
Speaker 3:Specific porn star. Who's your favorite porn star?
Speaker 1:I don't know if I can say, can I say one here? Why not? Why can't you?
Speaker 4:Say whatever you want.
Speaker 1:I got by the name of Raheem Chabest.
Speaker 4:Oh Fuck, yes. Not familiar with their work. I got by the name of Rahim Shabazz.
Speaker 1:oh fuck, yes not familiar with their work, and there is only one camera and it navigates throughout the entire scene so well like Rahim Shabazz depending on who he's with, it gives a different experience yeah, all right, I'll link his video.
Speaker 4:No, just kidding, I won't do that wow, okay, send me his name later because I want to look him up, and so is this okay.
Speaker 2:Let me ask you this question is it, is it straight porn? Is it gay porn? Is it gay porn? Is it somewhere in between porn?
Speaker 1:His is gay porn Okay.
Speaker 4:Is he like jerking off and stuff and watch him slide his hand up and down his cock? That's hot.
Speaker 2:Jesus Christ, calm down. I'm sorry, I'm all wound up. Let's hose her off. She's got enough to vab herself now.
Speaker 4:I'm going to take a vab bath bath.
Speaker 2:I've got enough to bottle that right about now. Sell it on the market, holy shit over.
Speaker 4:Calm down. The chair is wet when I know she's wearing a skirt too gross.
Speaker 2:She's gonna leave a mark. That's gonna leave a mark I'm sliding off the chair.
Speaker 4:That's my work chair.
Speaker 2:Enjoy my scent bitch I need somebody to fumigate in here. Bunch of dogs outside my window, okay, anyway, okay, god damn it. I forgot what I was going to say About porn. Yes, oh well, that's okay. Oh, oh, oh. What was I going to say? God damn you. Anyway, damn, missed a golden opportunity to ask Jumanji about oh settings. Settings Like? What other kind of what do you mean? Like settings Like?
Speaker 1:what's the most bizarre setting that you're trying to think of? Bizarre, I don't know if I would say bizarre. Like I enjoy locker room, I enjoy drug stops, beave man a lot lizard this conversation over drinks.
Speaker 2:I like dinner I was like well, you're not looking up very niche stuff. I'm like I'm like goth girl has sex with guys dressed like superheroes on a ballpark in the middle of the summer in Switzerland and then I get no search results. I'm like what? Why no one has made this? Who has not made this? Maybe you need to make it. That's what.
Speaker 3:I'm saying, so does Jumanji. Does your story have to have a plot? Your porn movie have to have a plot?
Speaker 1:Sometimes I want that and then sometimes I'm like just consider coming to shop.
Speaker 4:That's hot. There's nothing like watching a dude jerk off. Watching somebody pleasure themselves, I think is very hot. I like that, because then, if I'm, is very hot, but I like that Because then, as I'm somebody that wants to do something with that person, I want to watch how they touch themselves, so I can learn and then you know what they like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do that a lot. I'll stand in front of the mirror and just watch it.
Speaker 4:I'm like, yeah, I'm the best I've ever had.
Speaker 2:Yeah, give it to me Ain't no wrong with that this time I'm going to use two fingers to jerk off.
Speaker 4:You're running out of room.
Speaker 1:Does something start out as non-sexual.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, V-Man, go ahead. I'm right over my joke, but that's fine. What was it that you had to say?
Speaker 3:Does something start out non-sexual and wind up sexual, like you'll eat a gluten-free donut and you're like, wow, that's the right size hole to rim. That's okay, I got a smile out of her. That's all I wanted I'm laughing.
Speaker 4:I love it runs. You're funny. What kind of porn do you like runs?
Speaker 3:I would say like, would say like Jumanji. Oh, I thought it was going to be like Jumanji, You're like. I like gay porn, I like amateur no no, no, you realize.
Speaker 2:you just said that you like gay porn right, no I said if you would let me finish here.
Speaker 3:I was going to go with you know, some days I like a plot, some days I like amateur. Get to the end, let's go. I haven't got that much time.
Speaker 2:I feel like you could have rephrased it completely differently, though. You're right you didn't have to involve Jumanji's name at all.
Speaker 3:You're absolutely right. What?
Speaker 2:you said was I like the same stuff Jumanji does? That's what the audience heard. They all heard that you're like oh, ron's likes gay porn. That's what I heard. But instead of choosing to say your own thing, I should have worded that differently.
Speaker 3:You're absolutely right.
Speaker 2:But it was your brain taking control, because what that means is that is what you like. I'm a doctor.
Speaker 4:But if you're watching straight porn, there's a lot of watching the guy jerk his dick. You're watching that and you're watching a dick go in and out. So, are you telling me that doesn't turn you on at all when you see the money shot and stuff?
Speaker 2:Silence.
Speaker 3:That's an interesting analogy.
Speaker 2:Except you got mad the last time somebody said that to you.
Speaker 4:Money shot Anyway moving on, then.
Speaker 2:Well, I think that we've debased ourselves quite enough for this uh, I would believe so go ahead and uh, go ahead and say this one other type of porn that I would like to see more of. Uh, somebody work on this. I would like to. A trans female with a good booty, spit roasting, a hot brunette with a ripped dude, but there's no sexual contact between the trans female and the dude. In other words, the trans female really dicks chicks.
Speaker 4:So she's a lesbian. What you're saying, correct, okay.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 2:Wait the the problem is. Here's the problem scientifically, from a scientific principle, is that and anybody who thinks this is not true, you have not read enough when you are transitioning to a trans female, they block your testosterone and people are like, well, how do they know where to block it to? They actually don't. They block it below what a female's level is, but then they block it even further, so they dump it into the dirt. If you dump their testosterone into the dirt, guess what happens? It is so hard for them to get an erection. So when they do, porn.
Speaker 4:They very invariably a lot of them lose an erection.
Speaker 2:So when they do porn they very invariably a lot of them lose their erection while they're doing the shots. So unless they have to know, like that's why I imagine probably a lot of them have to do the injection just to do porn. So well, that's only if you're a trans female that wants to keep your well, if you're a, if you dig chicks where you identify as a lesbian and you're one of those people that do want to use your ding dong, it's hard to do because they have blocked your testosterone down so low.
Speaker 2:So, with the type of porn that I'm looking for, gg yes, I want them to have the rock hard, not the floppage gotcha because you know it's like uh, you know it's like the old adage, you know it you can't play pool with a rope I have not heard that, that's common saying I understand what it means, I'm just I've not heard it used that phrase specifically, sorry.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, it's a good one at the microphone. Jumanji, you cannot play pool with a rope I mean you can't you just do a whole bit of just things that you say. I didn't make up that saying.
Speaker 1:Like not one long joke, just things that you say.
Speaker 2:I did not make up that saying that is not a B-minority.
Speaker 1:I've never heard that before.
Speaker 2:It was on an episode of Shameless. Oh really yes.
Speaker 4:I haven't watched that one yet, alright, okay, anyway. Oh, really, yes, I haven't watched that one yet, all right, okay. Anyway, as I've said, we've debased ourselves enough and I feel like that.
Speaker 2:Uh, I have yet again been demonized from oh, here we go, little violin anyway, all right. Well, uh, I guess I should. Since swan's not here, I guess I should do the uh gg. Do you have anything to promote?
Speaker 4:I don't actually, unfortunately. What about your child's improv show? Oh my gosh. Yes, sorry, I need to, that's right. So beave man was wonderful enough to set up this show with kalamazoo central high school improv team to have a performance at a place, at bright house. It's called bright house, right, yep right now studios right now studios in portage, which is happening april 26. Yes, is that correct?
Speaker 2:well, geez, great job I'm sorry, I suck.
Speaker 4:I don't remember the date. I know it's at the end of april april 26th 26, you say yes, am I right?
Speaker 2:I feel like you might be right I think I'm right I feel like you're right.
Speaker 4:And unfortunately I will not be there, because I will be in a different. Way to be supportive. I'm going out of state to help a friend who's having surgery. No, it's got to be the 24th. Oh, it's the 24th, okay.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, you're still going to be out of state. It's a Wednesday.
Speaker 4:It's a Wednesday.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's a 24th.
Speaker 4:Yes, correct, 24th April 24th. April 24th, bright House Studios, 7.30, 8 pm. What time is it, sir?
Speaker 2:7.30 doors open. 8 pm no 6.30 doors open.
Speaker 4:Sorry, 6.30 shows at 7. Just check our links. Check the links.
Speaker 2:We're fucking it all up. That's fine, sorry, a big show, a very, very big show. Our show's the 26 gg, that's what it is. Yes, slap tail nation, slap your tail comedy is doing a show on friday, april 26th, at main street pub on go road. Doors open at 7 30. Eat with us in the back so that, uh, you're not eating out front. So the the waitresses that are working that room are going to make money.
Speaker 4:But each of them are women, waitresses, waitstaff, whatever.
Speaker 2:And then, because I requested women only, gigi.
Speaker 4:Yes, you did Patriarchy.
Speaker 2:And you're porn. Anyway, show starts at 8. We've got a great lineup. It's going to be a lot of fun. Small room. So get tickets right away or pay cash at the door Cash We've got no way of taking a credit card yo, and then let's see where am I going to be. Oh my God, I got a lot of stuff going on.
Speaker 4:What about May the 4th?
Speaker 2:I'm not done with my stuff yet. I will be in Lansing at some club on the 28th and I don't remember signing up for that show, uh-oh, but I'll be doing it anyway. And then let's see. And let's see. The Boy will be performing also on the 24th at an open mic at River City Saloon in Grand Rapids, so that'll be fun. And then, may 4th, slaptail Nation is doing their Celebrating Star Wars Day at the Crawl Space Comedy Theater. That's going to be a huge show. Please, cosplay as Star Wars. I'd like to see some sexy stormtroopers. I don't care if you're dudes or chicks. Sexy, make us sexy stormtroopers. I don't care if you're dudes or chicks. Sexy, mega sexy.
Speaker 2:Sexy and Beavman I do believe you have a warning. If you show up as a Star Trek character, you're the only one that we have to warn about that, because nobody else is going to do that. Nobody else is stupid enough to do that, and if they do, I guarantee you you show up in Star Wars, star Trek stuff. I will throw you out there you go.
Speaker 2:I gives two shits. I will throw you the fuck out. It's my goddamn show and I won't have to. Anyway, you'll get the shit beat out of you by a bunch of star wars fans oh, they're all nerds, you know I'm a nerd and I can beat the fuck out of a lot of people ron's so can I? Yeah, and I'm a nerd yeah and then june 1st, first day of pride, we also have a show at Crawl Space Comedy Theater.
Speaker 2:That one is in the works right now You're saying Pride Month, pride Month, first day of Pride Month, yep Foshiz, all right, and that's it for me. The B-Band Sean JJ Hutchins with Monsters Lair Adios. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 4:Thank you, we're still in the top 30 in Cyprus. That's fantastic. I don't know why.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Cyprus, though Send me some bureaus. I don't know. All right, that's it for me, the B-Man.
Speaker 4:Adios, muchachos, Masalami habibis. I don't know what that means. It means goodbye, sweetheart Deuces. I'm from the Rons. Why do you have to? Talk over Jumanji you asked me a question, what it means. I was trying to tell you you could have waited Jumanji.
Speaker 2:Go ahead, do it again deuces.
Speaker 3:And once again from the Rons, shout out to JD I already did that why, are you shouting out at him again?
Speaker 2:I just did that. Why are you stepping on my name again? I just did that. What are you doing? Why are you? Why are you stepping on my dick? What's wrong with?
Speaker 3:you. Oh well, didn't mean to, it's not good enough.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's see if I can complete this one without someone interrupting it's honestly not good enough and from the runs.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm gonna say. Stay sane, motherfuckers.
Speaker 2:It's a crazy world out there you don't know, my dick is not actually long enough to step on.